Wednesday, February 18, 2009

How to Socialize, Be Funny and Make Friends

Making friends is not always easy. It depends on how outgoing you are. If you're shy, then you need to build up your confidence to actually be popular. This guide might help you but what you really need is socializing skills and of course a cheerful smile.

Steps

1. Just be yourself. Don't be afraid to express your opinions. If someone insults you, just ignore them

2. Be optimistic. Even if you are feeling really down, remember that there's always something out there to smile about. A positive outlook will make people want to be around you a lot more.

3. Crack a joke. (Having a sense of humor is important, but don't get too carried away, there are some things you have to be serious about.If you joke about your friend in a rude way it could damage your relationship with them.

4. Smile as much as you can. Signs of encouragement let people know you care about what they are saying.

5. Share interesting/silly ideas. Your thoughts can open up many doors that can lead to friendship.

6. Listen more than you talk. Instead of nodding and smiling and occasionally wiping the drool off your face, try to take what the person says and run with it. Add your own thoughts into the mix - but don't hijack the conversation.

7. Start by doing little things if you are very reserved. For example, every time you go to school, work, or wherever, say hello to one person and have a one-on-one conversation with them.

8. Say "hello" to those that don't talk much. (Share something about yourself, such as where you're going or why you're there. Avoid talking about the weather - as Tom Waits says, "Strangers talk about the weather." Try to compliment them.

9. Don't expect perfection out of anyone, especially yourself. For example, if you forget your own name while introducing yourself, just make fun of the situation.

10. Be Patient. If you are still among strangers, the apprehension of a conversation may cause a delay in comments. Don't worry, that will go away in short order.

11. Talk to older people, maybe even your own folks. They will be less likely to ridicule you, therefore making it easier to learn to talk well.

12. Place importance on making social contacts. The people who are considered popular may not be the sharpest tacks in the box, but they are acquainted with important people who may contribute to their future careers. It is never too late to feel that being popular is important. If your work environment allows for it, host a party, organize a sports game, etc.

13. Love yourself. It is difficult to like others when you do not appreciate yourself for who you are. Try exercise to improve your self-esteem. Start your journey to "self-discovery."

14. Be loyal. Little things count. If you make an appointment, be on time. If you're in a group, show up early, and stay late (even if you don't have anything to say at the moment).

15. Be nice to others. Always give compliments, but don't try too hard. If you are shy, take a deep breath and risk it - you never know what might happen. Again, if you are shy on the outside but a little crazy on the inside, let it out once in a while. Wear your hair up high and spin around or dance. Others will laugh and find you funny and fun to be with.

16. Stand up for your rights. When someone is being too hard on you or perhaps showing signs of prejudice, speak up! Let it out in the open: "Why is it you're so prejudiced?"

17. Be honest. Lying will make people not want to be your friend any more.

18. Respect everyone, no matter what they think or say. They are a person and deserve to be treated with respect. If you treat people well they will treat you the same..


Tips

* Everybody likes some attention, (even the shy ones). Pay a little attention to people, and they'll repay you warmly. It doesn't take much.

* Do not be selfish. Many think if they are generous their friends would take advantage of them. This is an absurd paradox. If your friends were taking advantage of you, you would see right through them, and they should not be considered your friend.

* Avoid saying something that could be taken the wrong way, but don't over-analyze what you want to say. If you think about it too much, not only will you miss out on your chance to contribute to the conversation, but what you do end up saying might sound scripted and unnatural.

* Find people who share your interests. Get up and join a group that has similar interests. In that environment, it would be easier to meet people and make friends.

* Avoid prejudice, even among age. It is not impossible for a 20-year-old to be a friend to a 70-year-old. Don't limit your possibilities.

* Earn some money. You'll be able to go out and do more things, and if you get a job, you'll meet more people there who have similar experiences.

* Surround yourself with people you want to be like.

* Be passionate about what you believe in - keep your own opinions and ideas.

* Take genuine interest in other people, and they will do the same for you.

* A great way to start a conversation with some one new is to ask advice. Everyone wants to show off a little and most likely they'll be happy to help.

* Start out slowly with people. Begin conversations with open-ended questions like, "How's it going?" and let the other person run with the conversation. Calibrate their initial response, to gauge whether they are responsive to more conversation.

* Don't forget about your other friends! Introduce them to each other. That way, you'll have more to talk about and your friends can make more friends, too.

* Sometimes people need a little coaxing. You might have to ask them "How are you?" and "What have have you been up to?" in succession before you get a deep enough response to bring about further conversation.

* People often underestimate how self-conscious other people are. When you interact with other people, remember that they can often make the conversation uncomfortable because of their own insecurities. The best thing to do is to be confident. Confidence gives you a greater vantage point in which to see the social inadequacies of other people.

* Aim to get respect from other people instead of their approval. People are attracted to the people that value themselves. If you are looking for other people's approval then you are implicitly saying that "I value this person's opinion of me, and valuation of me as my indication of worth." You have to value yourself and not seek anyone else's value assessment of you.

* Surround yourself with other people and you will attract more people. People take shortcuts, and in the absence of spending hours with you to find out who you really are, they look to see that you are liked by other people (it's called social proof). As a result, they come to the conclusion, "if other people like you, then I suspect I can like you as well."

* One thing that people like to talk about is sports. A good way to start a conversation is "Hey! How 'bout them (team)?" (If they are into sports that is)

* It's easier to talk to people if you have shared an experience with them. Clearly the friends you have at the moment predominantly talk about interesting things they did in the past.


Warnings

* Don't do anything negative in a group that you wouldn't do by yourself. If something seems wrong, like picking on a guy or abusing an individual (even if the individual is a jerk), SPEAK UP, YELL, SHOUT EVEN and forget whatever others of the group might think. Who cares if they disagree or agree in general? When it comes down to it, do you really want to spend the rest of your life regretting not defending the man/woman that your friends humiliated? Is it worth it, the social acceptance vs. your morals and rights?

* Avoid self-destructive thoughts. Doing things that build talent and esteem will subdue such negativity.

* It is not necessary to accept the first person who comes along, as a friend. They may be unsavory people with no friends for a reason!

* Don't try to say something just for the purpose of looking smart or funny. Most people would rather be friends with someone who comes off as being sincere, not someone just trying to show off. Make sure your humor comes naturally and isn't forced.

* Not everybody likes a bubbly, social, funny personality. A lot of people probably like you just as you are!

* Be yourself. DON'T think about changing into someone else that you are not as you will not get respect that way. If you lie about something that you really don't do, they'll end up finding out & maybe everyone the next week won't be into that anymore, so your best thing to do is talk about your own interests & ask them about theirs or any others they may have.

* The 'key thing' in a conversation is the word 'you'. Ask them about themselves. DON'T go talking about yourself the whole time! If you notice you are saying "I" too much or are just talking about yourself, hurry up & finish that sentence & ask them about what they like. Example: "I like that singer's style. What kinda music do you like?"

* Never put yourself down. Always be confident and other people will notice. Making a bad remark about yourself only makes it OK for other people to do so too.

* Watch late night comedy so you can develop a sense of how to make people laugh.

* Dont crack a joke every 5 seconds, people will think you're anoying and wont want to hang around you

Source: http://www.wikihow.com/Socialize%2C-Be-Funny-and-Make-Friends

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